Nowadays, I realize that I easily get distracted and frustrated over small and tiny matters. I bought Ananas comosus last weekend. I tried to remove the skin nicely but have some divits left. Cut off too much of the peel at once will take a lot of good fruit with it. To cut the story short, the fruit was crushed. I looked at my mom and expressing my disappointment, “See, I can never do things right at the first time or any other time!”
“Takpe cuba lagi lain kali.” She replied.
“I don’t know how to use chopstick even though I’ve practiced many years. I’ve always delayed to do important things like bla bla… (and the list goes on).” Feeling depressed.
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No idea when I started to think like this. Is this what they call perfectionist syndrome? I made some research and started to analyze it. Credit to managing perfectionism.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionists aspire to be top achievers and do not allow themselves to make even a single mistake. They are always on the alert for imperfections and weaknesses in themselves and others. They tend to be rigid thinkers who are on the lookout for deviations from the rules or the norm. Perfectionism is not the same as striving for excellence. People who pursue excellence in a healthy way take genuine pleasure in working to meet high standards. Perfectionists are motivated by self-doubt and fears of disapproval, ridicule, and rejection. The high producer has drive, while the perfectionist is driven.
Causes and Characteristics
Fear of failure and rejection. The perfectionist believes that she will be rejected or fail if she is not always perfect, so she becomes paralyzed and unable to produce or perform at all.
Fear of success. The perfectionist believes that if he is successful in what he undertakes, he will have to keep it up. This becomes a heavy burden—who wants to operate at such a high level all of the time?
Low self-esteem. A perfectionist’s needs for love and approval tend to blind her to the needs and wishes of others. This makes it difficult or impossible to have healthy relationships with others.
Black-and-white thinking. Perfectionists see most experiences as good or bad, perfect or imperfect. There is nothing in between. The perfectionist believes that the flawless product or superb performance must be produced every time. Perfectionists believe if it can’t be done perfectly, it’s not worth doing.
Extreme determination. Perfectionists are determined to overcome all obstacles to achieving success. This is also true of high achievers, but the perfectionist focuses only on the result of his efforts. He is unable to enjoy the process of producing the achievement. His relentless pursuit of the goal becomes his downfall because it often results in overwhelming anxiety, sabotaging his heroic efforts.
The result; I have ALL of these above. Sigh!
