Saturday, February 27, 2010

My Sad Love


I've been listening to this song days and nights and sooo into it. No matter how hard I try to deny this feeling, it keeps coming back. Tak tahu kenapa Tuhan selalu menguji Na. Yang terbaru kes Blind Date. Sigh! Kesiannya terpaksa kecewakan mamat tue. Na terpaksa mengaku terdapat banyak sangat kebetulan sepanjang perkenalan Na dengan dia. Kemudian Na sedar, Na hanya menggunakan dia untuk kepentingan sendiri. So, I stopped the relationship. Nasib baik tak hensem. Haha! But seriously, to that guy, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you fell in love with me. I'm sorry I've hurt your feeling. I'm sorry for being such a bad person. I know you want to see me. I know you want to give me flowers and chocolates as per your promise to me. But, this has to stop. Because I lied to you. Because I don't have any feeling for you. And it simply because you are not the person I'm looking for. Sorry ya! 


Pada awalnya, Na memang nak ceritakan tentang horrible blind date. Tapi, lepas mamat tue dah makin suka kat Na, I feel guilty and simpati. So, cerita tue biar je terpadam dan hilang sendiri dari ingatan. Kesian dia sebab dah mula rasa perasaan kecewa dan asyik teringat kat Na. Lagi kesian bila mesej dan panggilan dia Na tak jawab. Na faham sangat perasaan tue. So, be strong and please forget me. 

Adakah peristiwa tahun 2007 akan berulang lagi? 2007 tahun yang paling teruk bagi Na. Na kecewakan 10 lelaki. Makin lama makin kurang kawan lelaki Na. Tak boleh ke kalau kita setakat berkawan dan tak lebih dari tue? Na rasa tak selesa bila kawan jadi kekasih. Dan Na tak pandai bila ex bertukar jadi kawan pulak. Na tak pandai bab-bab hubungan nie. Sebab tue semua hubungan Na berakhir dengan kegagalan. I guess I have to live alone. That's okey, Allah is still with me. Lambat laun Na akan kembali di sisiNya. Semoga perjalanan Na menuju ke pangkuanNya dalam keadaan bersih, cantik dan berseri seperti ingin menemui kekasih hatinya. 

This song interpreted my true feeling. No need to tell. No need to explain. It's obvious. Hope you  understand.
 
:)
xoxo

Thursday, February 11, 2010

What My Heart Wants To Say...1

Okey, I don't know what I'm doing. Am I crazy or out of my mind? Blind Date?

I don't know if should go and meet him. But last nite, he shocked me with some lines/phrases that reminds me of my ex. My angel side telling me i shouldn't playing around. No I'm not playing around. It just maybe... I'm living in denial. My evil side telling me to just go for it. Break people's heart and break my heart as well.

But then, my boss taught me something. You should care people around you. Care for people who wants to be around you. Like how he cared for me. Yeah, I feel pampered.

Really, I don't know what's got into me last night. Suddenly I miss him so much. I wonder if he ever think of me. Why we can't be together? Why I can't erase the memories we had? Why he enters my life and left me in blank? Why on earth he has to be the wrong guy for me? 

I have to keep being a strong young woman. Otherwise, everybody will get upset and blame him for making me like this. Oh my, how long can I live like this. How long should I live like this.  

Sigh!

-___-!!  

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

One Fine Day

Hari nie hari bersejarah. Malam tak boleh nak tidur. Satu lagi gigi terpaksa dicabut. Menjerit2 manja dalam Operation Room. Lepas tue, terus pergi kerja. Masuk bilik air, terus keluar darah sebanyak2nya. I feel dizzy. Dah la jiwa kacau. Kerja banyak. I just want to go home and rest. Menyesal tak ambil MC. Doktor dah offer, I declined. Sengal!

But it's not a bad day after all. I was greeted well by my big boss. He makes jokes and I force myself to laugh. Futhermore, someone put a box of chocolate on my desk. What a lovely surprise! The sender is none other than my boss la. Orang lain mane pandai nak buat surprise2 niyh. And during lunch, I can only had bubur nasi. And my colleague belanja me. Staff at the Hotel also concern about me. Wow... I feel pampered today. Tapi takkan nak cabut gigi tiap2 hari untuk dapat layanan macam nie kan... -__- 

Thank you so much for all the treats I got today. This teach me to appreciate and take care of people in any conditions.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

*&%&*!#%

Eeee.... teruk betul! Hello, you are not my boss. How come you simply2 ask me to do all the tanslating job? Kau pun orang Malaysia pe... translatekan la untuk omputih niyh. "Get Nadia to translate." Lempang karang. Kalau yang senang2 boleh la. Nie nak translate ke bahasa Inggeris yang tahap nak gubal undang2 punye, ingat Na ambik Law ke?

Macam cela** la korang niyh. Website aku nak kena buat. Call Pakistan pun aku. Translate MOU pun aku. Buat kopi pun aku. Hish! Keji betul dorang niyh!!!


Monday, February 08, 2010

Surat Dalam Botol... untuk Bos

Dear Big Boss,

I went to the hotel yesterday. The staff looks neat and tidy and smart. Owh.. i love working with these people. And I want to be one of those. Well, I am now. Memang seronok bila ada driver yang datang ambik dari ofis ke hotel dan hantar balik dari hotel ke ofis. Layak la seadanya sebagai pembantu kepada bos...

Tapi, bos control Na over sangat. Ingat I tak tahu ke? Na tahu, bos tak bagi Na borak2 dengan driver bos dari Kelantan tue. You said, the driver seems dangerous. So, boss wants to protect young executive like me. Perlu ke sampai macam tue sekali bos..? Don't you worry my botak boss. I pun tak nak cakap dengan dia. Sebab tak faham. Loghat dia pekat sangat macam pekatnya rasa Nespresso yang bos suka sangat tue.

Dear My 2nd Boss,

Boss sibuk2 pasal honeymoon place Na kenapa.. Bos nak taja honeymoon Na sponsor je la. Nie  siap bersyarat2 pulak. Syaratnya, I have to find Mr Husband first. Aiseh... nampaknya bos-bos nie amat menyayangi Na. Na pun sayang bos jugak tapi Na malu nak bagi tahu. Kalau bos tak call sehari atau tak suruh datang hotel, mesti Na tertunggu2 panggilan dari bos. Hari tue bos demam sampai terguling2 kat katil 2 hari pun, Na dah risau. Tapi bos pun boleh perasan kan.. Sebab bos dah pandai baca air muka Na. Bos kata dia tahu Na miss him a lot but she so shy. She didn't ready to express her feeling. Mana bos tahu nie. Wat segan je! Tue la sape suruh bos kenyit mata tiap2 hari kat Na. Lepas tue siap letak coklat atas meja Na. So surprise. Adoi wtf la cakap macam tue kat bos!!

Oleh kerana keakraban dan chemistry yang sangat baik antara kami, bos besar nak tukar Na jadi assistant bos secara rasmi. Na nak sangat. Sebab bos boleh tahan kacak (walaupun dah tua) and pandai cakap bahasa Melayu sikit2. Bos boleh develop Na jadi somebody one day. Lagipun, Na boleh dapat diskaun kalau nak gi mane2. Wahaha itulah tujuan asal sebenarnya. Nak bayar full amount harga beribu-ribu untuk satu malam memang mimpi je la.

Na nak kena siap sedia la untuk jadi assistant yang bagus untuk bos. Semua maklumat mesti ada di hujung jari. So, bos tak payahlah cari secretary yang lain eh. Bila Na dah jadi bos kepada orang lain, baru bos cari pengganti. Tapi, bos kena cari secretary sendiri la sebab masa tue Na dah busy nak buli staff Na pulak. Na akan buli mereka macam mane bos buli Na sekarang. 

Na akan sentiasa ingat memori antara kita berdua. Semua orang boleh nampak kita gembira bekerja bersama-sama. Setiap 10 minit bos panggil Na dan bagi kerja yang melambak-lambak. Setiap 1 jam bos akan call Na walaupun kadang2 tak tahu nak cakap ape. Bila bos meluahkan rasa tak puas hati dengan prestasi staf, Na cuma boleh dengar je. Na tak nak menyampuk nanti jadi mengumpat pulak. Bila bos pergi hotel, bos cerita pasal Na kat semua orang. Apa yang bos cerita sampai diorang puji Na tinggi melangit? Bila Na pertama kali pergi hotel, semua orang perkenalkan diri mereka kat Na. Pergi balik dari ofis ke hotel pun ada driver yang tolong hantarkan. Mereka memang peramah sekali. 

Bos pulak macam tahu2 je tempat nak cari Na kat hotel tue. Na lepak kat Business Centre je. Senang nak buat discussion pasal projek2 yang bos bagi tue. Lepas tue, semua kesalahan Na bos akan cover. Bukan kesalahan besar pun, kesalahan yang tak diduga bila dah buat sesuatu kerja. Mesti Na sedih sangat bila tiba saat berpisah nanti. jadi, Na akan hargai setiap masa yang ada dan akan lakukan kerja sebaik mungkin. Terima kasih sebab banyak ajar dan sabar dengan ketidakpandaian Na. Terima kasih sebab buatkan Na dipandang tinggi oleh semua orang. Bos jangan risau, selagi Na kerja dengan bos, selagi tue Na akan jaga imej bos.

Tapi kan bos, kerja yang bos bagi memang melampau-lampau la. Bos suruh Na handle, finalize and follow up kerja-kerja yang Na memang giler blur tak tahu ape2 bila bos outstation. Kalau kerja yang senang2 takpe lagi. Tapi nie nak communicate dengan orang dari Pakistan, Dubai, Rusia, California, gile ke? Na cuma pernah cakap dengan orang dari Bangladesh dan Nepal je. Sigh! Buatnya diorang telepon Na tengah2 malam, Na nak jawab ape? Bos fikir-fikirkan la. Satu lagi, ramai yang nak lunch meeting dengan bos. Jadual bos pun Na tak tahu. Macam mane nak confirmkan? Lain la kalau Na yang diorang ajak, memang Na confirm je.

Bila bos gi outstation, tak boleh ke bos bagi Na kebebasan sikit... Bos asyik nak suruh Na keep in touch je. Tau la bos pakai Black Berry. Na pun perlu luangkan masa dengan kawan sekerja Na kat sini. Bos... Na ada terkilan sikit dengan bos. Bos banyak berahsia dengan Na. Selalu bos tak macam nie. Na selalu jadi orang pertama yang tahu rahsia syarikat. Na rasa bos terlalu sibuk sebab tue takde masa nak cerita dengan Na. Tapi, kalau bos tak bagi tahu, macam nie la jadinya. Bila bos serah tugas kat Na, Na tak tahu apa2. Na termanggu2 menggaru kepala dan buat muka tak bersalah.

Jadi PA bos memang boleh buat otak Na berdarah hijau je. Cuba bos fikirkan sejenak 10 tahun lagi bila Na pulak jadi bos. Bos tak kesian ke dekat staf2 Na yang terpaksa melayan kerenah Na yang ala-ala bos nanti? Teruk Na kerjakan diorang. Na pun akan buat otak diorang berdarah hijau jugak. Tapi Na tak la kejam sangat. Na bagi staf Na balik bila habis 8 jam waktu bekerja. Sebab tak payah nak bayar OT diorang. Huhu!

Dan akhir sekali, bos jangan la buat aksi kanak2. Bos kurangkan la tergaru2 kepala, membebel sorang2, dan buat bunyi klak! klak! klak! macam cicak. Na tak larat la nak gelak secara sopan. Lepas tue tolong la jangan letak tupperware atas meja Na. Letak la kat pantry. Takkan tue pun nak ajar. Lempang kang...

Hihi... gurau je. Nie baru sebulan berkenalan. Kalau setahun tak tahu la macam mane nanti kan.

Till then, have a nice trip to Desaru ya.

xoxo

Truly, Madly, Deeply,
Nadia         

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Damsel In Distress

Serious shit I'm not feeling well. Ingatkan dah sembuh, tiba-tiba muncul balik. Bulan Februari bukan bulan yang bagus untuk Na. I think I'm still trauma. What should I do?? Sigh!

Don't look for me. Sorry I let you down, my friends.. please understand me. Will get in touch soon.

Bye.

xoxo    

Friday, February 05, 2010

Terima kasih...

FRUST! KECEWA!

Jejaka idaman cuma datang sekejap je. Takpe, Isnin nie cuba lagi! Terima kasih kepada aunty, my colleague and Tuhan yang memberi peluang kedua untuk cuba lagi tackle dia.

Terima kasih jugak pada bos kerana memberi kerja yang melimpah ruah sampai Na tak dapat nak submit OT hari nie.

Terima kasih kepada my colleague yang banyak bagi kerja sampai terkangkang-kangkang dibuatnya.

Terima kasih kepada my supplier kerana membuatkan Na teringat kepada ex-bf bila diatanya Na ada bf ke tak.

Terima kasih kepada media yang teruja untuk mengeluarkan berita tentang hotel kami. Tak sia-sia Na hantar email kat korang walaupun dah terlambat.

Terima kasih kepada mama yang hantarkan bekal pagi-pagi lagi.

Terima kasih kepada ayah yang akan datang ambil Na balik kerja sebentar lagi walaupun jauh beribu batu, hujan petir tetap diredahinya.

Terima kasih kerana hari ini hari Jumaat. Thank God it's Friday. Nak buat amal malam nie untuk bekalan akhirat nanti.

Terima kasih kerana bos besar bagi kerja last minute and sampai sekarang pun tak balik lagi! Dia boleh pulak balik! Geram betul dengan bos putih, pendek, rambut asyik nak potong kat A'Cut Above je!! Blah la. Pang kang!

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Tata

I'm happy today sebab banyak kerja. Tell you more later. Daa..

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Not a Good Start

It supposed to be a good day for me. But not really. Semuanya macam huru-hara. Ya, because of this chaos, it effecting my focus. This morning, when the contractor came to do the renovation, I incidentally send an email to my boss by calling him Miss. I didn't realize it at all.

From there, I'm continuously making mistakes and this is not a really good start for me.

Sigh! Sigh!! Sigh!!!

P/S: I hate this type of situation.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Bad Weekend That Swing My Mood

I've already planned my weekend but it didn't work accordingly.

Late afternoon on last Friday, I sent a message to my boss to know how he's doing. He's not feeling well and I as an unofficial assistant concerned about his health. Few minutes later, he replied and said he will get back to work later. An hour later, he called and he gave me a lot of works. So, I have to stay till late at night and come back on Saturday, working day and night and continue at home on Sunday. I'm tired and sleepless and distracted by stranger's sms as well. I don't mind working because I can claim OT... hahaha!

But but but... what makes me distracted until now is.... (Like I mention before - sms from stranger!). Here goes the story. He's browsing mudah.my website to look for a car. He interested with the car and emailing the person but didn't receive any response. Then, he called the advertiser's number. Incidentally, it is my number. Well, that his side of story. But I’m totally curious. I told him I don't know anything about the car and he might call the wrong number. Then, he just went on and introduces himself, bla bla bla (which I’m not interested to know).

What makes my day moody is because he wants to know how I'm doing right now. He wants to know whether I have a boyfriend or not, wants to know why we broke up; he wants to be a good listener if I don't mind tell him the whole story... bla bla... Sigh! Then, he went on and shares his opinion about girls nowadays. Materialistic, think about money, wants to married rich guy, da da da... (Pada Na, padan la muka. Kenapa tak nak belajar betul2 and kerja keras untuk baiki taraf hidup sendiri). And then he keeps pujuk me to be his friends...whatever la.

And today, I came to work with half-hearted. He sms me this morning and this went on until lunch time. I already mentioned to him that I'm not interested in making new friends or having an 'unauthorized' psychiatry. So, I hope he didn't bother me anymore. I think for this few nights, I might have to off my hand phone or put it in silent mode. I really need a good rest and recharge my energy.

Oh today, I dapat gaji. Finally! Sampai termimpi-mimpi dapat salary lambat. I really need the money to pay my debts. Oh my... I can't died now as I'm sure not rest in peace down there. So, as today is 1st of February... it's time to focus on my goals for this month. Aim high shoot low, bebeh...

What else good news to cover my bad weekend...hmm... well, my boss complimented me for working so hard. I don't mind, honestly. Oh, I’ve been checking Kenny Roger's website just now. I think I should 'belanja' my auntie because she has been support me from the beginning of my new life. As for my family, they are going to get high allowance for being patience with me. Haha... At least this is what I can do for people who help, care and love me so much.

So Nadia,
Focus on your goals and get rid the stupid2 things in your mind.

Oh yeah, about jejaka itu... tiba-tiba muncul kembali di kotak ingatan. My colleague prayed for me that we both can try to get along, get close and maybe tie the knot one day. Me, no comment.